Suddenly, I remembered another friend's daughter using those exact same words on her mom. 'My daughter has tried to deflect our advice and requests by using language like, 'You're being too paranoid' or 'That doesn't even make sense,'' he says. Louis who started with his wife (a midwife), assured me he's seen it happen too - in his own house. Just because my friend and I have occasionally smart-mouthed near-adults doesn't mean everyone does, so I began to ask around. Where do teens learn this manipulation? Yep, teen gaslighting is a thing. I'll say something super normal and parent-ish, like 'Please do your homework,' and he'll respond, 'When you pressure me like that, I have too much anxiety to do homework.' Then I stop and think, 'Am I a monster for requesting homework time?' I consulted with a friend who also has a high-school senior, and it turns out her son said the exact same thing to her.

But my younger teen gaslighting me was something I didn't see coming, and I panicked about it being a sign of something sinister. They were united in the fib, likely one of them protecting the other, and the whole farce was both predictable and weirdly charming, even if I miss that pretty lamp to this day. My kids lied to my face when they said that they didn't know who broke our living room lamp. Little kids lie, and it turns out that lying is developmentally normal.

Gaslight menu